paylime

i am so DIVA

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:27:09 GMT

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Shocked....

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 08:38:48 GMT

Funny incident happen when i reach home last night after a happening game of warcraft.

when i exited the lift of my level and looked in the direction of my house i was quite shock to see that my metal gate is wide ajar. it was 11pm and usually my mum will be zzzzzzzzing away. watmore it is not the family practice to leave the metal gate open. as i quicked my step to see wat the hell went wrong at home, tots just keep flooding my brain that we are robbed.

when i was standing at my door, i looked in and saw this very funny scene, my brother was lying stark naked on the kitchen floor and my mother was standing beside him shaking her head when she saw me. i shouted to my mum asking her wat happen is my brother sick and fainted or wat. my mum just said he was out with frds for his 17th birthday celebration and got dead drunk after the dinner was lying in tiong bahru and my dad drove him home, being so big size my parents managed to get him out of his vomit smelling clothes but cannot dress him back with clean clothes so they are like taking a break before struggling to move him to his bed and get him dress. wow blow my top lor think will scold my brother upside down tonight when i reach home.

Happy Happenings strange encounters of the 4th kind :P

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 05:53:53 GMT

Hahahaha think after reading my past few post, everyone knows that i meet weird people all the time and is always either depress or problematic.

well thinking of changing my blog to say what happen during clubbings and more interesting events instead of my fucked up sad life hehehehe. motivating to be a happier and more optimistic person seems just so difficult.

anyway, the past week seems quite happening. went to a frd's wedding and was the emcee that night hehehe thru out the whole evening i was staring at the groom's brother :P dicovered i'm quite a whore actually. bitched to my frds wat a waste that the brother is married......

on friday went clubbing, when i was in the loo, there is this strange fello that is playing with his little brother standing beside me at the urinal and he just keep looking over. freaked me out lah. frankly he is not ugly or fat just average but seeing this pervert in the loo, any good looking person will look like dirty old man lor.

second incident happened on saturday, a fellow regular clubber approached me for a ciggi and i gave him one then he asked me the strangiest question for the 2nd time since we ever spoken. the conversation is as follows:

Jason: hey can i get a cig from you? i later going to buy
Me: okie no prob.
Jason: hey do you still go to the usual hunt? (operation ONS)
Me: not so often already
Jason: (turns to boyfriend drag him over) dear this is Emil, he also a regular at the usual hunt.
Me : .......
Jason: we always go together but each time its only 2 of us, we dun have affairs with other people one.
Me: (thinking in my head. then go for wat? anyway does he intend to tell everyone??)
me: okie nice to see you again, bye.(disappear into the clubbing crowd)

3rd incident also happen on saturday, someone approach me and say i have very high sex appeal. i was like huh??? you must be crazy i was in normal t-shirt with bermudas. this fello must like ah peh looking ppl alot lor hehehehe

update you next time ya.

Ring a Fling

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 03:52:11 GMT

i attended the NUS event at Zouk the week before called "Ringafling" won myself a IPOD Nano 4 GB hahahaha.

so silly they asked us to write our mobile number on the back of the entry tix as well as our gender. subsequently they ask this mysterious female model to lucky draw our tix stubs and i was the chosen one with this other fat guy who is a student in NUS. lucky me they ask us to dance with the female model and well i'm gay off cos i can dance while the other fat guy seems to be just rubbing himself of the female model instead.

the first round of applause went in favour of the fatty but the host was fair as almost every one was from NUS of cos that fatty got supporters and me being a guest i just did not get much help. so the host ask the audience to be fair and the second round of applause i was victorious hehehe so i got a new toy my new IPOD 4GB nano hehehe.

hmmm that night's photographer is damn cute look a bit like little Aaron kwok and i think he also AJ heheheh. anyway was being taken quite a few pixs there by the photographers due to the game and dunno where will it be shown. my frds told me shd be on internet straits time some portion called scoops or something hahahah anyone see it please tell me :P

Mixed Feelings

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 08:25:47 GMT

feeling really down, lost and dejected.

met up with Taiwan on last saturday. seeing him in the army now in his number 4, so dark skinny tired and sick. something in me just cracked. sadness overcome my strong front. tears wanting to creep out from my eyes. but still i put on a smile and ask him how he has been, passed him his stuff and chatted for a while.

as he turn his head away and left, the emptiness felt deeper darker and lonely. as i was still feeling sorry for my sad soul and damned self, i got a msg that says i still miss you.

facing my friend trying to act as per norm yet tears just well up at the corners of my eyes. apologise that the chilli stung my eyes and brushing the topic a side. i was sad really sad. sad to know that it is still not the time to be together. i hate myself.

affinity with tigers

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 07:01:04 GMT

this is kinda weird, ever since i went to do a ah peng ngia (recruit) hairstyle, the past 4 weeks is like amazing. i met 2 little tigers (born in the year of the tiger) 1 older tiger. each a week. and they are like all kinda cute but no future together kinda of ppl.

1) 1st little tiger from malaysia (kl) is a hairstylist working in orchard lives 1km from my hse, cute but does not talk much seems like cannot understand anything i say.

2) 2nd little tiger also from malaysia(jb) is a dancer, weird thing is we met one day after he got attached and the next day he broke off due to some little drama. another cute fella but too much in the scene with too many aj friends so totally not possible for a future

3) 3rd older tiger is quite funny met him yesterday at my hse busstop, he was like staring at me so much that i concluded that i have "1 AM GAY" written on my forehead hehehehe. we got on the same bus and got off the same stop. so we actually spoke to each other when we got off the bus at bugis and exchanged numbers. quite average looking but can tell he gyms. have a yummy body hahahah. anyway yesterday night chatted on msn and he ask whether can we be sex buddy so i told him no, and replied that he will get so turn off by my layers of fats that he will puke. but he still keep asking me to train up and we can be buddys since we stay so near each other. (an idea to consider since his body so yummy hahahaha)

one last weird thing ppl have been saying with my recuit hairstyle, i look like DJ george from Taiwan MTV top 20 (chinese) and old time fello with DJ david Wu. and a japanese fello even ask whether am i japanese. so fun so i think will be keeping this hair style for the time being ya.

cheerios dunno when i will update lj again.

i have a fucked up life.

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:55:48 GMT

Been some time after i came back from my Taiwan trip. and was sick for the past 10 days. taiwan was boring and a not eventful trip after all. had plan to go to visit him after his claims of boredom, but who know after spending so much money to fly there he did not spend much time with me and we end up argueing on quite a few things.

My heart kinda died again this trip and i realise as usual i'm such a fool when in a relationship. why do i always be so nice to someone who i term as my other half and then to get a tight slap back as a reward.

after the trip he did not once called me but just send me a msg that we need to talk. managed to ctc via msn once and he said he got nothing more to tell me or talk to me about. i guess its the end. now just waiting for him to come back and pick up my stuff from him and journey on with my life.

no longer look for another fairy tale. maybe being alone is more suitable for me. i think i will be happier and not a fool.

i have a fucked up life.

Ah lu wa

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 03:37:57 GMT

Hehe, Taiwan here i come.....

so sexcited hehe tomolo flying over to taiwan liao finally a holiday after all that pent up stress in the office.

super stress at work and live is boring hope will be better after my holiday.

see u folks ya.

LOST!

Mon, 15 May 2006 05:43:07 GMT

Not the drama series on TV but the roller coaster in my life now.

angry and disappointed with him and also at myself.... after so long feeling jaded with myself and now this episode with him. think i'm getting old yet angry with myself for being so stubborn at times. now pondering on whether to give this relationship another chance.

there is this very strong feeling that should i give this up i'll being giving up on my future not only with him but with everyone else. but if i dun give it up there will be a stronger sense of heart break and feeling of lost.

contradiction with no expectation....

ANGRY.....

Thu, 11 May 2006 18:04:14 GMT

So angry my office now cannot go to LJ already so sad cannot read all your entry in future only once in a long long time then can read.... i think its time i get a PC for home since the last one burst into flames while playing diablo at home 2 years ago.

anyone got lobang for cheap and good PC?? dun need to be super pc as long can play games and surf porn can liao hahahahaha. ciao see you all next time ya.

Long time no CCCCCCCCCCC

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:25:01 GMT

Hello folks,

been busy and did not update my journal for sometime. will be back with updates of my life soon...

been so busy that i concurred that i am balding so sad....

miss clubbing but stupid clubs now adays change the stupid door bitch who is a stupid malayu and force us to py cover so good riddance i'm not going so often can save up a bit instead of getting drunk like a clubgirl.... still attached but do not see the ending, hoping for the best watever.

okie will try to update some more tomolo haha

help me make a decision....

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 05:59:37 GMT

shd i buy a lap top or a desk top??

Hello....

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 07:29:13 GMT

Long long time no see ppl so sorry was busy with work and dating did not update my blog for sometime. anyway tot it is time again to update my blog as i see myself on the way to bachelorhood again soon.....

hmmmm seems strange but is no longer as affected. maybe grown older already therefore do not see that the end is doomsday haha. still the same losing faith in relationship. maybe being an asshole would be better just enjoy myself and dun think abt forever and ever.

will be posting frequently soon if wat i prophercies comes thru.

i wanna go clubbing once this relationship ends as prophercies.

Good Bye...

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 01:14:34 GMT

Dear Friends,

me will be not clubbing as often or playing dota as often or even meeting up as often as before. have a new objective in my present life and hope to find happiness.

hope you all understand.

see you all soon ya

Standard Chartered Maraton 2005

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 07:11:27 GMT

Hehe i went running for the SCB Maraton 2005 on 4/12/2005

i just took part in the 10km run and now like a old man here ache there ache so sad.

anyway it is not that sad after all since i manage to finish the 10km without stopping and seeing all those fit and good looking ppl running around some in singlet and super short shorts and some half naked is so motivating, so yummy(saliva dripping) ....

going to train up to run again next year so that can have more eye candy hehehehe.

now have to put salon pas over my aching body and rest in peace...hehe

i win

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 11:50:39 GMT

hehehehe, i won my DND best dress again but so salah i won the best dress female instead of the best dress male that goes to show that the girls in my company cannot even win a AJ....

Hahahaha AJ rules.

oh my DND table also won the best dress table.

cheerios

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 09:24:25 GMT

Your EQ is

133
50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

i think not accurate one... i like god like that

inner feelings

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 02:17:19 GMT

looking back on my life for the past mth or so, disgusted me.

i've changed. i dun even recognised myself anymore. is it for the better or worse i wonder.

i now have the confidence to approach ppl but at the same time i see myself as a shameless bitch who does not have any compassion or feelings who is scared to be alone desperately trying to get closer to others.

i kinda hate myself now wasting my life away but circumstances lead me to this path... i hope it is not for destruction.

dreamt this morning of my ex and suddenly it affected me alot. i no longer bear any hatred or resentment and found peace within myself. but at the same time there is the conflict that i shd be hateing him or i will still be stuck in that emotional trashhole.

i discover i no longer care about anything and there is a bugging feeling that i shd just die but then again i've plan enough for the future to not waste my life. confusion, denial, self pity. i think i really need time lots of time to sort myself out before i breakdown mentally.

all i know is i am directing all my focus on my boy in thailand. true he is a gogo boy but so wat at least i'm prepared to be the fool to be treated like i'm in love. maybe its wrong or foolish but it keeps my motor running.

i hope for peace, accecptance and rebirth.

werid

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 02:52:21 GMT

met some one at club on saturday that just intro himself as
"hi, i'm j****, i met you at T***** C*** right?"
oh my god i fainted there and then.....

Finally I'm back on LJ

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 10:29:29 GMT

Hi folks sorry was on leave and so not on LJ was thinking of writing about my trip today but kinda busy in the office. so maybe later i update bit by bit ya. Miss reading all your entries hehe

Coming home to all my darlings and yet leaving my new darling in bangkok.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 07:20:27 GMT

Hello ppl, me now at bangkok airport wasting time for the bloody plane to fly me back to singapore. kinda dun feel like boarding the plane and leave this place. kinda motivated to learn thai now as some one here will be having me as a regular overseas boyfriend hehe. kinda cute fella to me but not to others i guess. anyway just wanna warn you folks when me back in singapore, me will be doing a six part journal on the different days that i spend in bangkok. think its gonna be kinda entertaining :P

I Miss all of you ya, hehe

phon luck kon :P

dreading the day to come

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 06:56:13 GMT

Sorry folks cannot help this feeling but had to pen it down.

2 more days and it will be the day where i have spend a quarter of a century on this place called earth. Kinda dreading the arrival of this day as have always been without a partner all these years to celebrate it with me.

worst was a promise meant for that day which now will never be kept. hopes and promises are such horrible things that kills the spirit and dampen the soul. Growing older is not an obstacle as i've always look older then my peers. but an aged soul is harder to embrace.

No longer longing for true love or a life long relationship. Just wanna see whether such myths do happen by observing happily satisfied couple around me. not expecting it to happen to me anymore.

Sound so sad i think maybe a cigarette can life my soul a bit.

always like this phase acted out by Maggie Chueng in "Ruan Ling Yu"
"what is so good about man,
i think a cigarette is more trustable than man,
i can see a cigarette, smell it and feel it,
and when i am bored or lonely, it will even dance for me.
so a cigarette is more trustable then a man."

New Target

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 06:18:08 GMT

Hi Hi, now me got new target liao.

Saw someone from the gym last week and suddenly realise this person quite cute although a bit old. but come on me not young anymore too. did not have the courage to ask his name but nevermind will try to overcome my fear and speak to him soon i hope. anyway was at WN on friday and saturday and saw him on both days. think he notice me on saturday as well.

Anyone any advise on how i should ensnare my new prey hehehehe.

Oh my .....

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 02:57:00 GMT

Oh Oh my Dad this morning gave me a heart attack.

He suddenly ask why i always visit WN and Happy.

i think he driving night cab saw me

How :P

Unbalance

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 02:32:39 GMT

Been feeling kinda emotionally unbalance recently.

Yesterday had a sudden flare of anger and stupidity. Sent Jaer off to UK yesterday and was leaving the airport when i just when bonkers and flare up.

Basically wat happened was Oliver wanted to drive the 5 of us (cp, me, dot, patrick and pat's frd) home after jaer flew off. I knew that Cp wanted to sit in the front passenger seat as he always say the fat one sit in front. but i felt that as i was the last to get off so i wanna sit in front. watmore i have some stuff in the front seat already since i came with oliver to the airport.

My prediction came true and CP went straight to the front seat even after i made known my intention and ignored wat i said. So my attitude came up and i just left to take the MRT instead. Maybe my anger is childish but i felt that i have given in to CP all the while and was not appreciated and now we have ended the relationship i'll do wat i want and not want to feel that i am giving in to him anymore. To accept and still sit in that car will make me feel still trapped and miserable and i rather just be a bitch and walk off.

Anyway so sorry guys that you are trapped in my little outburst. it is not directed at anyone but maybe just for me to regain that little dignity that i have lost. maybe no one will understand wat i did but its okie.